The Sex Election

We all know it’s going to come down to the economy, but you have to enjoy the Republican attempt to make this election about sex. Democrats simply don’t have the guts to make these guys look as silly as they make themselves look, and for some reason there is no pro-sex PAC out there. The only way these guys really get to look like fools is to do it themselves.

What if we did have an election about sex? Choice A would be that sex was not allowed except for the purpose of procreation. Choice B would allow sex for pleasure. It’s a very simple choice, but let’s complicate it a little by making it binding. We all know that all of those sex for procreation only people feel kind of dirty just having neighbors who do it for fun. Let’s all agree to move to an area dominated by those who share our choice.

I’m sure the same kind of split is going on up in Canada and probably in Mexico too. Let’s see if we can fix the problem for the whole continent. We could have three choices in a whole continent election: the two choices above and a third choice which allowed sex for pleasure only unless you get a procreation permit. I could be wrong, but I think most people will go with Choice B even though that is by far the most complex option.

There are definitely people in category three, but they should be the smallest group because they are not breeding. They only grow by siphoning members from the other groups.

If we did a county by county color map of the results, the As would be red, the Bs would be blue, and the Cs would be green. I would have to bet that most of the map would be blue. The reds and the greens might find few places that would take them in, although the greens are growing all of the time as more and more people recognize the impact of a planet with seven billion people on it.

I suspect the red areas of the map would be far smaller than the red area displayed after a presidential election. I could be wrong, but I suspect that even most Republicans like sex. They’re just disgusted that other people are having a good time at it.

Of course this is silly. We don’t need to make this kind of separation because no one is forced to have sex with anyone else. However, when you try to define the election the way that Rick Santorum is, you’re really betting that you think the above map will be red. I welcome that vote. The rest of the world may think we are prudes, but I’m pretty sure that America loves sex. I could be wrong, but a few hundred billion dollars worth of advertising is on my side. They don’t spend that kind of money to turn peole off.

More comments exposing my fractured stream of consciousness can be found in my Twitter stream @alanbcorwin

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